Dont force something that isnt there...

Dont try and force something that isnt there. I tried to work on a friendship for 4 years and now I can barely stand to look at that person. If I would have let it go sooner, I would have more good memories than bad, but I didnt. I wanted it to work so badly, that I started to change myself and sacrifice some of the things I liked, so that me and her could have no difference, nothing standing in between us and a productive friendship. Although I always tried to work things out, she never met me half way. Now I am in what I like to call, the repair stage. I am going back to being the me I was before she was there to affect me. I like that person, I dont like who she made me want to be. I always have to pick up the pieces and put them back together. She just gets to sit there, broken for a while, until I can fix her up. I am done with that! Maybe sometimes I dont want to be the hammer : strong, reliable, a hard worker. Sometimes I want to be the the glass pieces and just be fragile. But you know what, I am better than her and I am stronger than her, and I will not falter. I am the best I can be and you know what? THAT IS BETTER THAN GLASS, BECAUSE I WILL NOT SHATTER WHEN I GET THROWN AROUND, I WILL STAY STRONG AND IN ONE PIECE, AND I CAN USE WHAT I HAVE TO BUILD A STRONGER FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES. I may not get to be an irresponsible baby, but right now, at this time in my life, Im okay with that.

Do you think that I am fading into the meaninglessness of internet blogging? I mean, its not like any of you read my blogs anyways, but...I dont want to be that girl who talks about parties instead of politics. So IM going to try to make my blogs more meaningful and YOU are gonna try reading them more often than not, okay? Anyways, I think nature is beautiful, scenery and tree huggers make me exuberant! I love the blue skies, even though some gray has begun to stream in. People make me smile when they are funny or have any common distaste. I love life! My blogs will be meaningful! Until next time,

Madison

Party Central

My best friend, let's just call her Macy for privacy reasons...Macy is having a super cool party. There is gonna be pizza, water balloons, dancing...everything! Well the next day we are going to an indoor swimming pool, but i am not the hottest swimmer in the world! I still want to go and I am still going to try my hardest to do so... Well there is also this mega brat that is going, lets just call her shay...well shay thinks its funny to prey on the insecure and for that reason and many others that coexist with it, i dont like "it"(her). But heres the irony of the story...she called Macy "drunk ova makeup" and a "hoe" and then had an emotional breakdown so that she could still go to the party! That would be my inrony ): Heres hers: while she was still disinvited they made seating arrangments in the two cars...macy's car is all filled up and shay sure as heck cant come in mine, so right now, it looks like shes walking to the pool! Macy suggested that we "strap her to the hood and hope that she doesnt tumble into traffic" Well, maybe, just maybe I could give shayt a ride. JK! Had you fooled (: Soooooo not happening! Peace out (:

Bella Black

wouldnt it be nice if instead of bella cullen, or bella swan, there could be bella black. wouldnt that be nice. but she can have edward. she doesnt deserve jacob. besides...i want him! lol. love the movie!

New Moon

Just saw New Moon. Best movie ever. better than the first. wayyyy. bad ending. edward came back ): asked her to marry him. made me cry. shoulda stayed in voltura, italy and left forks and la push for jacob. she was all like....

dont make me choose. cause it will be him, jake. its always been him

well that sucks. anyways i want to thank my mother who means more to me than words can describe, for taking me and having a good girl date with me. it was amazing. I love you mommy!

Color Me Butterfly

Ever been misunderstood? You dont know whats going on in others life because your so self-consumed in your own. Your best friend could be beat unmercifully by her father or mother every night and you would never know. Im going to copy a (not word for word) passage from a book I'm reading:

"What'ou think your doing outs'de a dis here house?" Issac accused. (Issacs her father) "Mom said once I completed my chores I could go out. I brought Ruth and Grace(dont member second name) with me." "Beat her!" Issac said handing the belt to his wife Eloise. She refused. "STRIP!" Issac yelled grabbing the belt back. "Daddy... not here, PLEASE!" she pleaded to her drunk father. "NOW!" he shouted. She did so infront of her friends who watched in horror. Her shoved her head into the ground and beat her until her body slumpled. "Now get the heck outta MY house!" he said, indicating that he was indeed boss. Not Eloise, who had left the room to sob helplessly. "Lord, please forgive for the HATE I feel for the man I married." she prayed and then cried herself to sleep. Matties (the daughter) friends stumbled out of the house sobbing as well.


Read the book its really quite good (from what I've read so far) and check up on your friends. Do you really have a clue whats going on in their lifes. All credit to L.Y. Marlow. No copyright infirgment intended.

Teenagers

They think they are all that. They think they need to be trusted, but really I would trust a 7 year old more than a 13 year old. And the worst thing is a 12 year old think he's a teenager when he is obviously not, and wont be for some time. They think they deserve responsibilty, but they need to earn it like their younger, smarter sisters do. They think they are all that and a bag of chips, but really their just over emotional, physcotic, "the whole worlds against me!" saying, I CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, "I asked for peaches not pairs!" children. They think just because there now...__teen that they are now on a whole other level, but they are not. There all 13 going on 3. Its so irratating. They are always jealous of there smarter, younger, generous, more advanced sisters. It can get so annoying. I am so sick of it. I get good grades, he retrieves a fumble and now we are suddenly on the same page? NO! What has society come to, where because of age...which is really just a number, and not a sign of maturity or greater stature, we are seperated into divisions and groups. You dont just become a man when you turn 13, you become a man when you act like one, when you except the consequences for your actions. And research has proved that most boys dont hit maturity level until they are about 15 years old; while girls hit maturity at about 10 years old. I am so bothered by that double-standard. Well at least I can still right this blog, beacuse society hasnt (evolved) and "revised" my first ammendment! I hope you agree that there is hardly and difference for a hair pulling 3 year old to a hair pulling, hell raising 13 year old. Until the next time I have to type this hard,

Madison Shipp at BLOGGER.com